To Become A King
by Imaginary Zef
Summary: With Elessar's passing, the young prince is struggling with internal conflicts while the shadow threatens to reappear. Eldarion will be faced against political schemes, evil Sauron worshipping sects, and mysteries of his elven heritage. Filled with adventure, romance, friendship, and even humour, this story is meant to explore the elven half of the prince.
1. Chapter 1 Whirlwind of Emotions

Chapter 1 Whirlwind of emotions

I knew he was there at my chamber doors. What took him so much time to come over is not necessarily a mystery, but not one I would like to solve at this time. Perhaps he was hesitating, and I wouldn't blame him. Still, he came, bowed respectfully and stood beside me. I graced him with a smile and a nod. A fake and forced smile; I would have wanted to give him the greeting he deserved, but my spirit was at the depths of some dwarven mines. The long silence that was shared between us was welcome, but still it had to be broken or we would both be here until the next morn.

"What…" I started, but did not know what to ask, "…can I do for you?" I sounded very unconvincing.

I sighed, and chuckled at my own helplessness.

"I do not know if I should laugh with you given the situation, my prince. I could laugh and find humour in how very unfortunate the recent events have been, but somehow I do not find the heart for it. I could also look very grim because I know how deeply wounded all of this have left you, but I do not think that would help."

I shook my head slowly resting my forehead in my right hand.

"Laugh or cry, both I cannot do, so I content myself with giggling and sighing. How desperate I have become these last few days."

"You know I would tell no one."

I turned over to glance at Nadron. He was looking at me with compassionate eyes.

"Right, but I do not necessarily want to break down in front of you and start wailing like a newborn babe."

I winced at the thought and at my capacity to joke in such a state.

I signaled him to the spot next to me on the stone veranda, where I was sat cross-legged. Nadron never liked the places I chose to sit on: window sills, parapets, trees and anywhere near edges. According to him, I should not let myself be carried by my elven side and that we should only sit on places meant to be sat on: chairs. Still, tonight, he climbed up the stone veranda and sat next to me without complaining.

He waited patiently for me to speak. I breathed in and then out.

"My father has lived a good and fulfilling life and has given up on it willingly. I am sad, but I am not agonizing over his death. But then, my lady never told me of her illness because she saw how broken I was when the healers informed me that my father wouldn't have long left to live. When I finally knew, she was already on her dying bed."

I looked up towards the night sky and stared at the stars long enough to prevent tears from falling. I took in a deep breath so I could continue speaking.

"After he died, I refused to let anyone care for me, thinking my grief was too personal to be shared and that it should burden no one but me. I pushed everyone away, and I pushed her away. I knew I hurt her, but I thought I had the right to be left alone. Being as foolish as I was, I acted like a child and the sadness that I caused her was her final blow. I always told her that I loved her and she agreed to marry me even when she knew nobles would look down on her."

I sighed heavily for the umpteenth time today, and tears that earlier threatened to fall now did fall.

"How could I have been so blind to all the sacrifices she made for me?"

"You were grieving. There are things we cannot see when blinding by sadness."

"Still, I should not have pushed you all away. My father was your king as much as he was mine."

"You are human, well, you are a being of middle-earth, and like any others, you make mistakes. What is important is that you learn from them and never repeat them again."

"But Nadron, the price for my mistakes is too great. If the people saw what a failure of a prince I have been, never would they want me to be their king."

"That is nonsense! Your failures pale in comparison to your achievements."

"My friend, I am a mess. My mind is a wreck right now and even when I know that I must face my duties, I have no idea from where I should draw my strength."

"You are doing it again my prince. You should not make the same mistakes again."

I looked at my mentor and furrowed my brows as to show my confusion.

"You are not alone in this and you never have been even though that is what you have believed so far. You have always been watching our backs as our leader, and we have always been watching yours."

"This and that are different."

"Why does it have to be? It is the same, simply a different battlefield with different rules. When you are weak, seek help from the people you know you can trust, and when you are strong, add your strength to theirs so together you may climb the highest mountains."

"My father's advisors are still alive. I know them, and I also know that some do not support me and who knows what they will do when they see that I am an unstable ruler."

"You are, or soon will be King, and they are advisors. The King chooses who to listen to."

"It is not that simple. They have power even if they are called advisors. They are ministers and generals."

"Have you friends amongst ministers and generals?"

"I do. Some. You know that, you are one of them, why do you ask?"

"It is like a battlefield my prince. You have always fought outnumbered and have succeeded many times. You only have to do it again, and not without us by your side."

"Everything you say makes sense, and it is a lecture I have tried telling myself, but it is simply hard to do now. I will think about it, but I still need time to overcome my grief."

"Indeed you do. No matter how you look at it, you have lost two loved ones in the length time of one week. So please, do take time to overcome your sadness. We will cover you for as long as you need, but do not tarry. Do remember that you still have people who love you who are still alive and also need your attention."

I climbed down the veranda.

"Thank you, Nadron, you are a cherished friend."

He did the same.

"I am happy to be of help, and I also wish to deliver a message from your personal guards and knights before I am to be dismissed."

"What is it?"

"They wish to see you down at the dining hall. I believe they wish to lighten your mood. Please, if you will see them even if only for a short moment for they have been very concerned for your well-being, sire."

"I will, Nadron. I will go and meet my friends and reassure them that I will be fine. I just need a moment to myself."

"Thank you, sire. I will now take my leave."

I nodded. He turned around and left swiftly.

After he left, I took a good moment to breathe in the fresh scent of midnight air one last time. I seemed to be breathing a lot these days, strange when there was just no room for air. I exited the balcony and closed the glass doors behind me, then pulled the curtains.

I crossed the room towards the exit, but stopped half way in front of the mirror. Nearly twenty seven years have gone by and there was still not a single trace of a beard: I looked so much like my mother, my skin was too fair, and most would have thought me an elf if I did not have round shaped ears. I might not be able to remember my father's face at this rate. I have his black hair and grey eyes, but they are also my mother's black hair and grey eyes.

I never liked the way I looked, but Ellen did. She told me often that she saw me as an unworldly being sent to her by the Valars. In the end, I was unworthy of her love: not an unworldly being, but a foolish child.

I am left behind with nothing but memories and I do not believe I have the strength to remember them until I am myself sent to the halls of Mendos.

No longer staring at my reflection, but the ground, it took me a while to realize that I was shaking and tears were flowing freely down my face onto the carpeted floor.

I needed to be strong, or at least I needed to look strong. There is no way I could show this pathetic side of myself to my men. They would feel betrayed because all this time they thought I was strong.

I wiped my tears and cleaned my face with the water bowl. I pulled on a light coat and made my way outside of the room and down the hallway on the left. I descended two stairways and stopped right behind the closed doors to the dining hall.

"Are you sure he will be coming down tonight?"

"Nadron said he would, so he will."

"But it has been a while now."

"He'll come, I'm sure of it. The prince has always kept his words and Nadron doesn't lie. Well, not for this he wouldn't."

"I hope he comes soon because I'm hungry and kind of sleepy."

"Right. For some reason, I feel like getting wasted as soon as possible."

A loud yawn echoed behind closed doors. Someone smashed hard on the wooden table.

"I don't want to hear any of you complain anymore. If you don't want to wait, just get out of this room and do what you will elsewhere."

My lips slightly twirled upwards at the captain's words. He was always defending me so obstinately.

"I will not tolerate anyone doubting his highness's words. He doesn't need that from his most trusted subjects when his father the king and princess-consort Ellen have both just passed away almost at the same time, and all the idiotic nobles now flooding the castle trying to not very subtly gain power."

Captain Keran of the royal guards has always been a very close friend. He was simple minded and that was his forte at times like these. He spoke his mind and acted honorably. His only fault is that he does not swear allegiance to Gondor. He swore his allegiance to a child, and that sometime scares me. Even knowing so, I could never order him to do something that goes against his morals, which he has a lot. I do not doubt he would still abide to my orders, but he would be a broken man. Henceforth, he has only been responsible for keeping me alive. My knights deal with the missions.

"Yeah. And all the things about the coronation and the new duties; at least King Elessar felt his end coming and trained the prince beforehand at being king."

"Yes. And his mother."

I gasped.

"What about her majesty the queen?"

"What? Queen Arwen can't be dying too. She's an elf!"

"That's enough everybody, please."

"But she gave her immortality up for the King."

My mother, what is it about my mother?

"That's not what I said you twits! She's alive and healthy, she's just…"

"Enough!"

I barged into the room at the same time as everybody was silenced by Keran. He was standing at the long table his back to me. Everyone else turned their attention to me.

"Your highness."

"What is it about my mother?"

Keran turned and bowed quickly.

"Gelen. I heard you say something about my mother. Would you please tell me what it is about?"

I took a few steps forward closer to them.

"Uh. It truly is nothing of importance."

"Is she ill?"

"Not at all, she is very healthy in fact, and she has never been ill her entire life and will not be for at least two thousand and four hundred more years."

I raised an eyebrow at the precise number.

"You know much, what else have you heard?"

Gelen was sweating and seemed extremely nervous.

"That her majesty the queen is grieving deeply for her late husband, and something about her _fea_ not being able to endure the pain if she stayed here any longer. And. Yeah."

He obviously held more knowledge than that, but now he was starting to twitch in his chair.

"You will not be punished for eavesdropping on her majesty if you will tell me the rest of the things you have heard."

The knights and the guards remained silent seeming to be dreading the news as well. I was standing at their table right in front of Gelen. Keran even tried to intervene, but I gestured him to sit down.

Gelen was now looking miserable with his eyes cast downwards. I sighed, pulled a chair over and sat down next to him.

"No more formalities, let's get this over with while my mood already."

What do they say in westron? Well, it does not matter.

"While my mood already smells like _orch_ shit?"

I hear Joyes snicker in the background. I roll my eyes, annoyed. It has been since I've come to live in Gondor that people have started making fun of my speech. I spent most of my childhood with my grandfather and my great grandfather and I mostly spoke sindarin. It wasn't my fault that things were not said the same way in westron!

"She plans to leave the capital. Something about going north, that is all I know."

I lay back in my chair sighing.

"Do my sisters know?"

"I think one of them knows. The queen was talking to lady Aria."

My eldest sister, _Gwathel_ Aria.

I sat up and placed my elbows on the wooden table. I looked at my men, some expressionless as always, some with sympathetic looks and a few with concerned stares. As I said, my mood smelt like orc shit and I seemed to be transmitting the smell to them. I graced them with an apologetic smile and broke the silence.

"So, _gwenyr nin, _where's the ale?"

Some of their heads shot up, surprised by my words.

"Did you not call me here for this?"

"We did! Gelen, give the prince a mug!"

An hour later and we were still drinking. Few were drunk, and I was still completely sober. I was now playing with the ring on my right index finger while Gelen was telling a senseless tale about a short human who lived with the dwarves.

"_You are not alone_, _ernil nin_."

Coming up behind me, he whispered those words to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"_Le hannon, mellon nin_."

"What brings you here, Lord Miluyr, please have a seat."

"I can't say the wind brought me here, so I will say the noise and the ale did."

Miluyr is my caretaker from Imladris. He is now a councillor even though he still "takes care" of me in a way.

A mug was placed in front of him.

"Thank you."

"_Man siniath tognin?"_ _What news do you bring me?_ I asked.

"_Caul namarie." A heavy farewell._

"_Im naer." I am sad._

"_Gerich veleth naneth. You have your mother's love._ Do not doubt her."

"_U-Agoren. I'm not. _I am hurt, that is all_."_

"_Penneth, _she leaves thee only so your heart has not to bear the pain of another burial."

'Because I have not done enough to keep her happy' is what I would have wanted to say, but I know it is not fair. I drank from my tenth mug, filled it again, and drank my eleventh.

"You sure can hold your drink, Eldarion."

I shook my head smiling a bit. The truth is that I can't hold my drink at all. Now I just have to take off my grandfather's ring and I would probably black out this very instant.

"Aha! That's true, unlike Thenin over there!" exclaimed Alryn suddenly from the other side of the table.

Alryn was the 'funny' royal guard. The man was twenty nine of age and loved attention.

All the guards exploded in a loud laughter.

"What? Why?" Thenin looked confused.

The man was a thirty six year old guard and very serious most of the time. Nonetheless, he was very kind and caring towards children and the young recruits he has under his wing. Unfortunatly, he had the tendency to become extremely affectionate when drunk.

"Don't tell me you don't remember! We were just recruits then, but the prince found you one pretty morning naked in bed with three partners! Naked too!"

The laughter roared even louder with the knights now joining in.

"I've never heard this one before," said Sir Kreus, "that's hilarious, I never thought Thenin was a women's man!"

Ai Erubereth! Thenin was not going to live it through tonight.

"Well you are not entirely wrong about that, Kreus, because one of those partners was in fact," all the knights held their breath waiting for their curiosity to be sated, "a man!"

Thenin's face was now as bright as a Narya. Keran sighed and put a hand up on his forehead, looking desperate. Miluyr remained calm and seemingly unshaken if not for the way his lips were trying not to curl upwards. The others were laughing out loud, but some stared at Thenin in shock with their mouth agape.

"It's not over yet, it's not over yet!"

I was too taken in my muse that I did not anticipate my own doom.

"Eldarion was totally freaked out! He ran all over the castle screaming like a little girl!"

I blinked and gaped; totally abashed by the way he described me.

"I was not screaming like a little girl."

It was my turn to become the red gemstone, and a very red one thanks to my elven heritage.

"Aye, I remember that one, I was cleaning the floor with Alryn when suddenly I heard someone scream, and then when I looked up I saw you dashing through the hall." Said Etel.

The knights looked at me trying to hold back their laughter.

"No, no, please don't hold back on my behalf."

And that's how the hysterical laughter pursued.

"There goes my reputation."

I sighed and shook my head.

"Aye, don't worry about it my prince, you were just a little boy and you just came back from Lorien. You were like a wild little thing always climbing trees. In fact, we found you hiding in a desperately high tree in the royal gardens."

"Ah, I remember that time, it was like yesterday. You didn't speak to anyone, but your parents, sisters and the two lords who accompanied you here, and you spoke 'elf' all the time! I even thought you didn't understand us because you were so shy."

"Oh yes, and it didn't help that you were terrified by Keran!"

"Ahaha! I think that was the funniest thing ever!"

"True, true; Keran was the youngest appointed royal guard then and King Elessar decided to appoint him as the prince's personal guard."

"Or more like the prince's personal babysitter!"

"That title had always been Lord Miluyr's."

"Yes, and Lord Talas was the prince's personal playmate."

"What was Keran then? He was always running after the prince like a mad man."

"That helped the prince build some pretty good stamina! Because then he was always running away from Keran."

I smiled and let out an exasperated sigh.

"But why were you afraid of Keran, sire?" Sir Prael asked.

"Uh." My eyes widened a bit at the unexpected question.

Keran looked at me from the corner of his eye. I shrugged.

"I guess it was because he was the biggest living being I had ever seen back then, and that our first meeting didn't leave a so good impression on me."

"Oh, what happened? Don't tell me it was another foursome?"

Everyone burst out laughing, and I was surprised that I joined them this time.

"You're an idiot." Keran glared at Gelen.

"No, well, I was exploring the castle and found myself in the barracks when Keran came back from hunting with a very big prize on his shoulders."

Young knights and guards who did know of the custom of the elves eyed me waiting for the rest of the story, but that was all there was to it.

"What happened after that?"

"Nothing. I probably screamed like a 'little girl'", I said smirking at Alryn, "and that was it."

"Uh."

Miluyr spoke up.

"Eldarion left Gondor at the age of five and spent eight years only feeding on vegetables. I am from Imladris , but I am certain those laegrims from Lorien taught him to…merge with the woods or something. "

"_Pe-channas!_ Miluyr!" _Idiot._

And without further notice Talas appeared at the ledge of the dinning hall's balcony. He swiftly jumped down, his waist long silvery gold hair cascading down his back as he landed.

"_Mae govannen, mellon nin. Tolo, govano ven."_ _Come, join us._

"No ale for me. The stench is horrible. I come only to rectify your words."

"Oh, but am I not right about what I said?"

"Wrong! Always wrong!"

"Ah, please, _mellon nin, _let us make a truce for until the grieving for the loss of our precious ones have lessened."

Talas eyed me with concern before regaining his ever audacious usual expression. He walked over to Miluyr who whispered something only he could hear.

"_Far, an ngell nin. Havo dad." Enough, please. Sit down._

There was only one chair left at the table. And somehow that chair was being used as a foot step for both Thenin and Gelen with Kreus sitting in between them. Talas looked at them and quirked an eyebrow and then his eyes were trailing away, searching for poor Alryn.

Talas had one of those glares. Rumours say he was taught directly by Lady Galadriel before she left for Valinor at the beginning of the fourth age. Most people just looked away, but Alryn has always been spooked out by it.

And so to escape suffering under Talas's unbearable gaze, Alryn had politely offered him his seat and picked up the chair behind Kreus to use for himself. The young knight Arel then picked up his chair and went to sit down right beside the elf who glared at him. Arel returned a genuinely happy smile. Talas was Arel's best friend, but the other way around wasn't always obvious.

Talas had been like my brother ever since I was a boy. We met in Imladris. He came as a messenger for Lord Celeborn and had just come of age. In Imladris I was a scholar to the teachings of the elves. I was a good student and I liked to read and learn, but still Talas was the only young and spirited friend for mischief that I had. Sometimes, even Lord Elrond had a headache and called me a 'true son of Estel'. Talas and I left for Lorien at the same time. There, we spent four years together, him teaching me the ways of the Silvan rangers as much in mind as in body. That is where I first learned to wield weapons: bow and daggers. After that, I came back to Gondor to be taught the ways of men. Talas came with me.

The talking and telling of tales and jokes went on as usual, the knights and guards enjoying themselves. Keran and Miluyr enjoyed each other's silent company, as always. Talas still acted very elven after all these years. Some didn't like his attitude, but they didn't dislike him because they knew that no matter how obnoxious he made them believe he was, Talas was a very loyal and sentimental brother-in-arms. So they just blew it off as 'just some elf manners.'

Talas often joined the knights on their orc-slaying missions and there was this time when the young Arel was thrown off a cliff by an orc and Talas dived after him. We found them three days later in a very deep underground cavern. That was something to be unnerved about because _laegrims wood elves_ had a deep fear of caves.

Sir Avol was leading the rescue squad. The knights found the man and the elf because the latter had been singing.

Talas had forced Arel into a deep slumber to save what was left of the young knight's energy. We know that because Miluyr had to use his powers to wake the knight.

Being an elf, Talas was only slightly physically wounded, and three days without water or food was the norm for him. What took a toll on him was spending three days in the depths of darkness without any trees, or grass.

When they found the two, Avol said that the elf was in a sort of trance and did not see nor hear them. He was afraid of his rescuers and tried to kill one of them for trying to lift Arel off of the ground. When they brought them back, Talas had stayed in that state for a few more days, refusing to have people near him except for Arel. He slept outside the whole time on top of trees in the garden. Arel often joined him, but always remained at the roots of the trees.

After normalcy came back to him, we asked him if he knew he was going to be able to save Arel by diving after him. He never answered our question.

"Do you hear me, Eldarion?"

I then realized that all this ale had started a while ago to get to my head. Keran had asked me something and I had no idea.

"Forgive me, I was not listening."

"No harm done sire. I only wanted to know if something was on your mind since you have not been speaking for a while."

I frowned. Suddenly, the truth started to sink back in. My father and my wife are gone. My mother is going to leave me soon as well. I have nobles bringing troubles to my doors, and I am to be crowned King in a few days.

It was devastatingly obvious that I should have something on my mind, but I should know Keran better by now. What he probably wanted to know was if I wanted to talk about something.

I downed another mug and had it refilled. All this alcohol was making me all warm and fuzzy and it seemed to make all my troubles seem. Unimportant.

"Um."

I took another sip.

"I was just thinking about the people in this hall. How we all came to be here."

I blinked a few times to try to chase the light dizziness away.

"I see."

I snickered at his boring response.

"And you brother, is there anything on your mind that you wish to speak of?"

"I have been thinking of ways to lighten your mood, my prince."

"You are so kind. You have always been kind and I fear I have never thanked you properly."

"No, you would have done the same for me so there is no need for you to thank me."

"This idea was great. To be honest, I actually forgot for a moment that I was supposed to be depressed."

I sighed and brushed my hair away. I placed a hand on Keran's shoulder and looked at him. He had so many heads.

"By Erubereth! Have you twin brothers?"

I think Miluyr was looking at me and wondering what I was about to do, but I was not too sure because my sight was unfocused and trying to see Keran's face was hard enough. But it was probably Miluyr because he was the only one annoyed by _Erubereth, _a mix between Illuvatar's westron name and Elbereth I had created when I was younger.

I tapped Keran's shoulder.

"Anyhow, I wish to thank you and everyone properly for being here. What do you think I should do?"

"Lord Eldarion, I think you have drunk too much. I will help you get back to your room."

I moved away from Keran and frowned.

"I am not going back to my room tonight."

"Why not sire?"

I heard the confusion in Keran's voice.

"Because I would be going back to an empty room," I whispered to myself.

I crossed my arms on the table and laid my head down on them. I heard someone in the back telling Keran to take the ale mug away from me. I didn't like that idea very much, but I also thought that I had had enough for tonight. I felt terribly chilly suddenly.

"She was always warm like, just like a bonfire in the cold of night. Her hands were flames that didn't burn me, but once melted my heart."

I probably sounded like a hopeless romantic, but I was only whispering. Hopefully not too many heard my useless confession to the dead.

"I should have wedded her."

"We could have had children, and those nobles would have left their daughters home."

"_Miluyr, ho sogannen!" He is drunk._

"I would have something to remember you with besides this emptiness, memories, and remorses."

"_Le isto." I know._ "Keran, can you please take him back to his chambers."

"_Melinyel. _" _I love you._

"_Melinyel."_

I have not been seen crying since the age of fifteen, when men are at age to go to war. That is why I did not understand what the watery trail that I felt on my cheek was.


	2. Chapter 2 Awakening Troubles

Thank you a lot my readers! This is the first story I've ever dared to post online and it is very encouraging that I am already receiving reviews! Please keep reviewing, and do criticize so I know what you liked and what you didn't like

If you have any questions or ideas for the story, feel free to leave me a message and I'll answer to them :D

Chapter 2 Awakening Troubles

"_Melinyel, _my head is throbbing."

Ellen put a cold towel on my forehead.

"Um. That's very cold. I do not like the cold."

She pulled the covers up to my chin.

"I do not need you to do that, I only need you to join me under the blankets to keep me warm."

"I am sorry your highness."

"Um."

Since when did Ellen call me 'highness', and since when did she sound so much like.

"By Erubereth!"

I flashed my eyes open and stumbled off the bed, entangling myself in the blanket in the process and dragging it off with me.

"Eldarion!"

Keran kneeled beside me and tried to help me untangle out of the blanket.

"Keran! What in Erubereth's name are you doing here?"

My head started throbbing madly and I held it in my hands. My guard helped me sit down on the bed and gave me a glass of water that I gulped down quickly.

"You drank too much last night and we took you back to your room."

I looked around the room and tried to focus. I saw other blankets on the floor.

"Did you sleep on the floor?"

Keran hesitated to answer and I was too busy trying to handle my headache that I couldn't look up at him.

"Yes sire. I slept here last night."

"Why? Ai Erubereth, I must have done something fatuous to have you feel the need to keep watch over the night."

I sighed and unsteadily made my way to the dresser where lay my usual ceramic bowl of water to clean up like every morning.

"No sire, you have not. And know that your reputation is always safe with us."

I looked at my disturbingly frightening face in the mirror and the grand mess that was my hair.

"Tell me, what did I do?"

I dried myself off with a towel and turned to look at Keran. He wasn't answering and he didn't look me in the eyes.

"Keran, do not hold back on my behalf. I need to know so I do not make myself out to be even more foolish than I was yesterday. You might not care, but the other knights and guards, especially the young ones are going to use my ignorance to black mail me. As harmless as them blackmailing me may be, I would still like to know. I think you understand."

Keran nodded.

"Nothing much happened at the dining hall. You only said a few things about Lady Ellen. Then, I was the one who brought you back to your chambers."

Keran seemed to be struggling with continuing the story or not.

"What did I say about Ellen?"

"That you should have consummated your marriage and have had children with her highness."

This was not happening. I gaped at him. They weren't supposed to know that. She was barely fifteen when she married me. She was frail born and did not look like she could yet survive the birth of our children, so we thought waiting for her to age was the better decision.

I shook my head and let out another sigh of exasperation. I was getting exasperated of sighing.

"And what did I do after you brought me back here. Did I say anything else?"

Keran blushed. No. I did not just see that. Thirty-three year old grown full-blooded men did not blush.

"Keran, come sit down my friend."

I motioned him to the guest table. We sat down each on our side of the small round furniture. I poured him some left over tea from yesterday. Keran liked cold tea.

"You."

His 'you' trailed off into a silent murmur.

"I'm sorry. I can't hear you."

I had elven sight, but I did not have elven hearing.

"You were very heartbroken yesterday."

He took his time, but at least he was willing to tell me what I did.

"All the way from the dining hall to your room you spoke of your love for the lady. You told me you did not want to come back here because she wouldn't be here, but I still took you back. It is partly my fault and I am sorry."

"There is nothing to apologize for. You could not have left me sleeping in the dining hall; it would have been a sight for the servants."

He smiled at my comment.

"When I brought you back, I think the familiar surroundings made you believe you came back to her. And. For a moment, you mistook me for her."

I picked up my teacup and drank.

He was certainly struggling to find the right words to unveil the horrific events to me. It was not considered normal for someone his age to be this nervous about something that was obviously nothing.

"You just held onto me."

I placed my teacup back on the table.

"And wept," he finally added.

"I apologize. I'm sorry to have made you uncomfortable. I was not in my right mind."

"No!"

He was standing his fist clenched and his eyes were glaring holes into me. I rarely ever saw him this angered, and even less when it was directed at me. I looked at him meaningfully. Ten years ago, I might have felt some fear at his sudden outburst.

He sat down again. He shook his head with his eyes closed. He looked back at me.

"Forgive me for losing my temper."

He quickly regained his composure.

"It is nothing. Would you tell me why you are upset?"

"I am not upset, merely disappointed."

For a moment, we shared the same eyes, the hurt.

"I," I began, but was cut off.

"There is nothing to apologize for and there is no shame in a moment of weakness."

I was confused. Was he not disappointed by my unlikely behaviour?

"I have always felt very privileged to be your brother even though we do not share blood. I am proud to be a part of your family, and happy to be a part of your life. I wish to serve you both on the battlefield and away from it, so do not so coldly cast me off with an apology."

I would have to admit I was shocked by his words. I had always worn my emotions on my sleeve, but I tried to keep them in check this time. Since I came back to Gondor fourteen years ago, we spent every waking hours together and our chambers were even next to each other. I knew we were quite fond of each other, but hearing it was another tale.

I was never good at handling emotional situations very well, and had a habit of jesting in the non-opportune moments.

"That sounded a lot like a very earnest confession. Should we complete the deed with a hug?"

I raised an eyebrow. He raised his. I smiled wryly. He grinned. Someone knocked on the door.

"Prince Eldarion, are you awake?"

Keran looked at me inquiringly. My head still did hurt a bit, but it was nothing I couldn't handle. I nodded to Keran. He went to answer the door.

"Aron."

"Sir Keran! Good morning to you. Forgive me for interrupting your meeting, but his highness's presence is requested at the throne room."

"Who is it?"

"He calls himself Hator, messenger of King Elfwine the lord of Rohan."

I walked over to Aron and Keran.

"Thank you Aron, I will be there shortly."

Aron's eyes widened as he took in my dishevelled appearance. He looked me up and down and stared at the bags under my eyes. He frowned and looked over at the captain, then back at me. I quirked one eyebrow.

"Um. Very well, my Prince. Should I take Sir Hator and his men to the guest room or should I let them wait for your highness in the throne room?"

"Let them wait, I will be down shortly."

"Yes, sire."

He bowed and left. I turned my attention back to Keran.

"Well, I need to make myself presentable and go see what Elfwine has prepared for me."

He nodded.

"Yes. I will go get dressed myself and will come back to accompany you."

"Very well, do not take too long. Something tells me Hator might not be a very patient man."

"Yes, sire."

Keran nodded and left.

I closed the door behind me and went to get dressed. The black circles under my eyes were going to have to remain, but I could at least comb my hair. I brushed them quickly tearing out a couple of strands in the process. Eldariel always hated it when I did this because it felt like she was the one losing her hair. She was my closest sibling as we were born twins. I took off my dirty clothes and threw them in a straw basket that the servants would later pick up.

I pulled on garnet red breaches and a simple black velvet tunic. I tied it up and used a leather belt to hold everything together. The residents of the castle often found that I dressed rather plainly for a prince, but I thought it was comfort that was important.

The habit of dressing lightly probably came from spending a few too many years, says Nadron, with the sylvan elves: years running like a deer through the forest and climbing trees like a wild cat I thoroughly enjoyed. The elves called me 'the crazed _peredhil_'. I had little care for all things gracious. I was loud and almost tactless as direct and simple as I was. Instead of dancing with the noble elves at the time, I would always rather be in the midst of a mud fight with the wardens.

I put on some boots and made my way to Keran's place knowing he would take a bit more time than I with that armour of his. I leaned on the wall across his room and waited.

A short while later he came out fully plated with his helm under his left arm. I looked him up and down.

"Are you preparing to counter an assassination attempt so soon? I am yet to be crowned."

"We are never too cautious, my prince."

I smirked.

"I guess you have a point there, captain."

He nodded, and then we made our way to the throne room. On the way there, a few servants and guards greeted us. Right before we entered the hall, a page stopped us.

"Prince Eldarion!"

"How can I help you, young gondorian?"

He bowed hastily.

"A courier has arrived for you. I was told by Lord Nadron to deliver it to you right away."

He handed me the missive. That I received a letter did not surprise me at all. With my father's leave and my upcoming coronation, many would want to express their thoughts. What did surprise me though was that the envelope had no name on it.

"Has the author of this letter left?"

"I believe so, yes."

I opened it in a quick motion. It was written in _tengwar_.

"Uncle."

I frowned. Did Legolas and Gimli leave without saying goodbye once again? This was not the first time, but in this situation I would not know what to think. My heart clenched at the thought.

"My prince, is something the matter?" Asked Keran with his worry-filled voice.

I shook my head.

"Never mind that. Let's not let our guest wait too long. I'll sort this out later."

I looked towards the teenage boy.

"Thank you, what is your name?"

"Bryor son of Brynir, my prince."

"Thank you, Bryor son of Brynir."

"It is my pleasure to be of service. Have a good afternoon, my prince." The boy bowed and left.

When we arrived at the throne room, I came forward and greeted Lord Hator. Keran remained a few steps behind me.

Hator eyed me a moment, but quickly looked downwards, as if he feared to be rude.

"I welcome you to Gondor, Lord Hator of Rohan. What news do you bring me?"

"I am honored to be here, prince Eldarion. Perhaps you must already suspect it, but I was sent here right after Rohan received news of the King's passing."

He still did not look me. A few centuries ago, people could not look directly at royalty, but that custom was long abandoned.

"I am all ears."

"Of all things, Elfwine King and the Rohirrims offer their condolences to you, your family and your people."

"I send him my gratitude for his kind thoughts."

He nodded.

"My King would have come in person, but the situation is grave in Rohan."

I frowned. It has been a long time since I heard Rohan was in any trouble.

"What could be the matter, Lord Hator?"

"It is a delicate subject and if possible, I would like to talk to you in more private dispositions."

"Certainly. Please, come with me."

I led him to the meeting room interconnected to the throne room. There were a few bookshelves, a round table in the middle of the room resting on golden embroidered rugs. The furniture and decorations in this room were gifts from Imladris, before they all departed for the undying lands.

As we entered, Hator observed the place with some awe, but mostly confusion. Keran walked in last and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the round table and stood behind the chair I always chose to be seated.

"Please have a seat, Lord Hator." I gestured for him to sit down.

He looked a bit confused as to where to sit, but then he chose a seat three seats away from mine.

"If you wish, you may also look at me when you speak to me."

He blinked and brought his eyes up to look at me.

"I am sorry. It was not in any way meant to offend you, Prince Eldarion. I am only slightly confused as to how I should be behaving here."

"I do not understand what could be making you uncomfortable, my friend. Customs here in Gondor are not much different from customs in Rohan."

"No, it is not, your highness. You have misunderstood."

I nodded at him, encouraging him to explain.

"A few times before, I have journeyed into elven territory. The atmosphere always seemed different and I never became used to it."

"What do you mean by different?"

"The atmosphere for me always seemed tense, dangerous and off-limits."

Is that truly how full-blooded men felt amongst the elves? That is never what I was told.

"Though I may not know why you would think that, I believe that where we are, it should not matter."

" Your furniture, and yourself, my lord, simply brings back memories."

Hator's eyes trailed up behind me, his brows furrowed and then he looked back at me. I knew that Keran was making discomfited grimaces. He had always disliked anyone who seemed to be discriminating me because of my elven heritage.

"This room's furniture is a gift from the elves of Rivendell, but do not be mistaken, you are well in the kingdom of men."

"I ask for your forgiveness, I did not mean to offend you, Prince Eldarion."

I waved a hand to halt his apologies.

"All is fine as long as you understand that no matter how I may look like, I am still a descendent of Gondor. I am no less proud of being part of the kingdom of men than any of us here are."

"Yes, your highness. I understand."

He stared at the vast table in front of him.

"Very good. And I'll also keep a reminder for the next time you visit; I'll have another meeting room prepared."

"Thank you for your consideration. Again, I apologize for my behaviour."

I nodded.

"Let us get back to the matter at hand," I insist.

"Yes, pardon me. Villages of Rohan have been recently attacked by group of orcs. We have been defending the villages from their attacks, which there has been minimal damage. However the situation has become confusing. About six villagers have died from the few first attacks. There seems to be a commander behind the attacks."

"Please, explain."

"They attack and withdraw quickly, as if only trying to draw attention. We have sent more soldiers to defend the border villages, but we fear there is a somber evil lurking behind those attacks. Elfwine King has sent me here to warn you. For now, we are handling the situation, but we know not of what is to come. "

"I see, is there anything else I should know?"

"Rohan is my life and all that I have. I have requested to be sent here of my own volition."

"I understand your worry. I will look more into this and believe me when I say that Gondor will be there to help if the need arises."

"I believe in your words, sire, but there is something I wish to request of you, if you do not mind hearing me out."

"What can I do to help you, Lord Hator?"

"You have asked if there should be anything else that you should know. I do not know the answer to that, but I know that there are more things that you could know only by willing to."

"As I said, I will be looking into this."

"The power of the palantir will not be enough, a greater evil lurks. It knows our every move, and it knows we are speaking this very moment."

"The magic of the palantir is not the only thing I will use, but of what I understand, you do have a proposition to make, and I am listening."

"There was once a very powerful elven mistress in the woods of Lorien. I have heard rumours that you have inherited some of the power of the Lady of Galadriel, being related to her by blood and having been trained by her as well."

I felt Keran tense behind me. I clenched my fists.

"Rumours remain rumours, Lord Hator, and rumours are dangerous tools when not handled with care. Our conversation will end here for now. I have some things of importance to attend to in the evening, but we will speak again. Servants will come to show you to your room."

I stood up from my chair in a quick motion and watched as Hator stood from his own to bow to me. I nodded and left the meeting room, Keran trailing behind me. When we were alone in the hallway on the second floor to the library, I turned to Keran.

"Keran, I am going to read the letter I received earlier. I need you to find Nadron and tell him that I need to see him. I will be in the library."

"Yes, your highness." He bowed, but looked up at me after a short moment.

"What is it?"

"Are you feeling fine, my lord?"

"There are duties to attend to and not yet time to be feeling fine. Do not worry for me, Keran. If I can handle horseback riding from East Lorien to Rohan with three broken ribs and a protruding arrow from my back, then I can handle this."

"But sire, this is not the same, or I believe it is not."

"Nadron says that sharing thoughts is a remedy to every mind. If you wish it, perhaps we could speak later tonight?"

"Yes, sire, I wish it. I will go fetch Lord Nadron right now."

"Thank you, Keran."

He bowed and left with a smile.

I made my way to the library and entered through the double white doors. Galdin the librarian was perched on a very tall ladder looking for some books.

"Good evening, Galdin."

He turned his head at my voice and looked down.

"Oh! Greetings my lord, what brings you here?"

"You."

He snickered.

"Of course, what a silly question. I will be with you in a moment. Let me just find a book."

I sat down at a tea table and opened the letter from uncle Legolas.

_Dear Eldarion,_

_If you are reading this now, then I must already be on my way to the undying lands. _Saes_, do not bear hatred for me yet for leaving you without bidding you farewell in a proper way, for I would have done so if it were possible. I have roamed middle-earth far too long, and I have lost far too many. My soul is weak and fading. Gimli is old and is becoming weaker and weaker with each passing moment, and if I were to leave him to die here, then it would be the end of me. Grief is a murderer._

_I know of your sorrow and anguish. I know of your pain and wounds, for I am bearing the same ones. But _penneth_, the gift and burden of feeling deeply for someone, mortal or immortal, is something I would never regret. Though some will say that I am left with only memories of Estel and his evenstar, I believe, instead, that I was blessed with them._

_When the soul is hurt, it seeks comfort in reason: reason as in 'why'. Why do you remain, what do you wish to do by remaining, and where you should be while you remain. The answer to my question is a short and stubby mortal, and the answer to our questions could be in Aman._

_Would you grant this selfish uncle yet another request? When the time comes for you to choose your soul, choose not for others, but for yourself. Choose not what should be, but what will be._

_So this is farewell, _mellonin_. Much awaits you ahead, but I know and I have seen. I have faith in you as your father had faith in you._

Namarie, Eldarion.

_Forever your beloved uncle,_

_Laequellasse_

"Namarie." _Farewell._

The doors opened and closed. People walked in. I heard them, but I could not turn away from the song.

"Nîr tôl erin baded lîn." _I weep on your going._

The songs they sing resound loud and clear in my mind. Footsteps approaches, but I can't turn away.

"Mas bedithach laer hen?" _Where will you be this summer?_

The song is sad, yet full of hope. I wish for your hopes to come true, uncle.

"Là sí." _Not here._

"Eldarion?" Nadron's voice.

He is calling me and I have to answer but it is as if I were not here.

"My prince, Lord Nadron is here to see you."

I have to block out the melody. I wince at the strange feeling.

"My Lord, what is the matter?"

Leaving that strange moment, I look up at my two vassals 'worried look.

"I am fine, Nadron. I am sorry. I was lost in thoughts."

"Perhaps I should not have given the letter to you."

He stared at the unfolded sheet I was holding in the open.

"It is fine, Nadron. I needed to know."

I sighed and brought my free hand to my forehead.

"My uncles are leaving this very moment. They are sailing."

Nadron sat down on the chair on the opposite side of mine.

"You mean Lord Legolas is leaving for Valinor?"

I nodded.

"Not just Legolas, but also Gimli. They are leaving together. I don't know what happened for him to think that his folly could work. Gimli is a dwarf for Erubereth's sake! What will happen to them if the Valars refuse to have Gimli? I know not what to do, or if I have to do anything."

"Lord Legolas is wise. He would not make a decision if he thought it was hopeless. Furthermore, he is your uncle, and he is _The Legolas_. I am sure his intentions were never to have you worry over him."

"I understand what you are saying, but I am still concerned."

"I know. You resemble much your father."

"In fact, I'd like to grow a beard, if that were to ever happen."

My, did I just try to jest again?

Nadron smiled and Keran tried to muffle his chuckling.

"Being selfless is fine, but too much of something is always poisonous. Remember, young king, that you are not alone. Helping hands will come to your aid when you are in need."

"Yes, master Nadron, but even when they seem to be leaving one after another?"

"Men often do not choose their faith, even when time comes to part with their most loved ones."

"Yes. I wonder then about the others."

"I have heard and read about the customs of the Eldars, but the descendant of an Eldar himself should be able to understand more than I do, shouldn't he?"

Should I? I only wish to belong and not to feel such sorrow. I shake my head.

"I know not. Please enlighten me, Lord Nadron."

He shakes his head while smiling still.

"You are knowledgeable my prince. There is nothing I know that you do not. The answers you seek to questions you have not asked openly are not mine to give."

I look at him and his eyes give me all the sympathy no words could give.

"I believe you have a task for me?" he asks at last.

I nod and take a moment to formulate my thoughts.

"Lord Hator brings news of villages being frequently and briefly attacked by groups of orcs. I want information on the situation of Rohan, especially the border villages. Gather all the information that you can, and prepare the squads you send for orcish ambush and such. I want to be informed of the findings every one or two weeks. Also, I am sure you already know, but be careful and do not waste our men's lives."

"I will see it done, sire."

"One more thing before you go, when will my official coronation be?"

"In a fortnight, sire."

"Very well, that should be enough for my little trip."

Keran's eyes widened in a funny fashion, and Nadron raised an eyebrow.

"I should be allowed to leave Gondor while I am still just Prince Eldarion. There's a place I need to visit."

"Sire, you might not be officially King, but everyone already sees you as the King. It is dangerous to leave right now. What would Gondor do if you were to be harmed?"

"You'd be quite the regent, dear Nadron."

"Silly child!"

"Please, Nadron, I ask this of you, just one more time like old times. I will take my guards and a few knights with me. I should not come to harm, unless you only trust our warriors so much?"

"I will think about it. For now, please behave. I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by Lord Talas telling me that you are sneaking out of the castle."

"Worry not for I intend to take Talas with me."

"Whatever! I think you understand me. Sir Keran, make sure the King does not leave these walls!"

Nadron stood up and made his way to the doors with loud footsteps. He opened then barely slammed the doors shut. Keran sighed and sat down on Nadron' chair. Galdin came forward. He had left through the second library to give us privacy a while ago.

"Prince Eldarion, how can I be of service?"

What did I come here for already?

"Books. I need books."

Keran smirked. Galdin looked confused.

"Yes, sire. Which books do you seek?"

I needed information on Orcs, palantirs, and that silly artifact.

"I need books on orcish behaviour, how to use a palantir, and, if you can, something about the mirror of Galadriel?"

There, I've gone and done it. He looked at me like a fool. Galdin coughed.

"Um. I will look up all the books related to orcish behaviours, but in this library there should be nothing about the use of the palantir, Sire. That is something only kings should know about. It is not public knowledge."

"Oh, is that so?"

I felt like a fool. I was taught how to use one, but it has been a very long time since I've tried to look into the jewel. Keran seemed to have a great deal of questions to ask me, but he still seemed to be determined to keep quiet.

"It is no trouble then. What about the mirror?"

Galdin shook his head.

"I will look, but I cannot promise anything. I can read _tengwar_, but the books we have retrieved from abandoned elven homes are not all they seem to be. Some are magically sealed and dangerous if not handled carefully. We would need a mage or an elf with some power or something of the sort."

"How do you know which ones are magically sealed and which ones are not?"

"Lord Miluyr has separated a few from the main library. Most of possibly magical ones are kept in the second library, but the lord has told me that there might still be some here although they should be harmless."

"Oh."

I needed to search through those books myself then.

"Please, sire, may I share my thoughts with you?"

"Please, by all means. What is it, Galdin?"

"If I were you I would ask Lord Miluyr to look through the books for me, sire. I would absolutely not want you to do so by yourself."

"Why is that?"

"You should not endanger yourself, sire."

"I will not. I will be careful."

"But sire."

"I am no mage. I'll stay away from the second library. I'll only look through the _tengwar_ books here. You just focus on orcs."

Or maybe I'll be very careful when searching the second library.

"Yes, your highness. Thank you, your highness."

"It is no trouble. I know Lord Miluyr tends to threaten."

Galdin blushed and Keran and I laughed heartily. I stood from my chair. Keran did the same.

"Thank you, Galdin. I appreciate your help. I will come back in two days to see what you have found."

"The pleasure is all mine, my prince. I offer you my most sincere condolences and hope that you will be well soon."

"Thank you for your concern."

He bowed. I nodded, and then Keran and I left the richly filled library. We walked in the hallway towards my chambers.

"Your highness." Keran called after a moment.

"Yes, Keran?"

"Where do you wish to go? You have not yet told and it surprises me that Lord Nadron has not asked."

"Someplace from my late father's memory. Nadron did not ask because he knew I would not tell."

"Will you truly take the guards with you, sire?"

"That is what I said. I keep my words, Keran."

"What I meant is if you are planning to leave us in a village somewhere along the road like you did once in a while."

I smiled to nobody as we moved forward. I had a bad habbit of needing time alone. Sometimes I would feel called into the night, into the woods and towards the stars. It was as if half of my soul did not belong. _Naneth_ says it is because I am _peredhil_, that I have not yet chosen or been chosen. I thought that had changed when I took Ellen to be my lady, but this strange melancholy has been resurfacing, especially these last few days. Sometimes, at night, I would hear them sing and I would know the song.

_A! Elbereth Gilthoniel!  
silivren penna míriel  
O menel aglar elenath!  
We still remember, we who dwell  
In this far land beneath the trees,  
Thy starlight on the Western Seas._

"Prince Eldarion?"

"Yes?"

I turned around to face Keran.

"You have walked past your chambers."

I blinked and looked behind him. I did walk past my room and office.

"Are you unwell, sire?" Keran asked with concern in his voice, again. I truly must be looking ill for everyone to be asking me if I am well whenever they saw me.

I was unwell, but being unwell would not make me space out this much. What was going on? I was not even aware of my surroundings for a moment there.

"Worry not. I am fine. I planned to do some paper work, but that can surely wait. I need to go see my mother the queen."

I walked quickly away leaving Keran confused.

He waited for me outside of_ naneth'_s chambers when I entered to speak with her.

Our exchange in sindarin was slow and seemingly uneventful, but through our eyes spoke so much. The reason she was leaving on a journey, the reason she could not bear to stay with me until the end that sounded a lot like what uncle Legolas had tried to tell me.

Something about a grief that would be unbearable to an elf's _fëa, _soul. I never truly understood, but with all these partings perhaps I was beginning to understand.

Perhaps they had been living for far too long and they were now far too weary to even have to bid formal farewells.

_Namarië: _a word spoken too many times in a life could be tiring. _Namarië_: what would it mean for an immortal to have to remember every single being they had to tell the words to, or hear the words from?

She held me in her warm and unworldly embrace for a time I wish could have been eternity. Her soft iris scent took all troubles away from my mind, and her soft spoken voice overwhelmed all sadness.

"Gerich veleth nin." _You have my love_ is what she kept telling me.

I told her about the songs I heard, about the voices and the strange but not uncomfortable feeling.

She told me it was what all elves heard, but that I could hear more voices: voices men and elves heard. I asked her what all of this meant because it was confusing, and she simply told me that time would tell, that I will only understand when the time comes for me to understand.

She kissed me on my temples and placed something cold into my hand: the evenstar, the gift of Arwen's immortality to Aragorn, descendent of men.

_Namarië, nanethnin. _Farewell, my mother.


	3. Chapter 3 Delicate Subject

Thank you for reading my fanfic dear readers :D

Estel, thank you for your review, and about _Erubereth(mix of Eru and Elbereth)_ Eldarion keeps saying, he explained that he made that up when he was younger since he was half man and half elf (in chapter 1), but thank you for pointing out that it wasn't obvious enough! I will mention it again in chapter 4.

**Oh, and please readers, do drop a review so I can quickly finish writing chapter 4 (the three first chapters were already written ;)), I need to know what you think of the story (do not be shy, I welcome all reviews as long as it is an honest one!)**

**Chapter 3 Delicate Subject**

I had spent the rest of the day doing paperwork after meeting with my mother. At the beginning of the night, Talas had burst into my office with a few bottles of _dworwinion_. He had insisted that we go drinking in the castle gardens. Of course, Keran was also invited to this, and Arel always invited himself to Talas's harmless impulses.

Guards kept watch well at night especially in the gardens due to its external disposition. Keran could then drop his guard a little and accept one glass of the elvish wine which he still did not finish.

Arel almost threw up from nausea at just smelling the liquid, so he settled for just hanging around.

"Ernil nin, mar bedithach?" _When will you be leaving my prince?_

"Eärenya." _Sea-day, _I told him in Quenya_._

Talas raised an eyebrow.

"Oraearon?" _Sea-day? _He repeated in Sindarin.

"Thand." _It is true._

Talas jumped down from a mature beech tree and sat cross-legged next to me. He eyed me carefully.

"Aní rach i dulu nín? Na Nadron." _Do you wish me to help? With Nadron. _He asked with a mischievous look in his eyes.

"Um."

Talas chuckled at my hesitation.

"Worry not _Ernil nin._ He will come to no harm."

"I might not know exactly what you two are talking about, but it can't be good if it involves Nadron _not_ getting harmed." Keran says.

Arel snorted.

"Ah, worry not, captain. The old man does need some attention."

"Sir Arel, you have only been recently promoted to a knight, I would not think it wise to mock a minister. And don't call him old man; he will throw a fit if he hears you."

"No mocking involved, sir, I swear, and I do not see any harm in calling him what he is."

"I will never understand why Lord Elboron promotes people like you."

"And I would never understand how you can be so boring."

"What?! That is untrue!"

Watching these two quarrelling has always been quite a sight. Talas laughed melodiously into the night.

"What entertaining humans."

"Well, Arel, it seems like Talas does not find Keran so boring. In fact, he thinks you are both entertaining." I say.

It was Arel's turn to laugh.

"I am a good teacher." He says wryly to Keran.

"We'll see who's a good teacher after I teach you a good lesson, little brat."

We laughed out loud. Keran and Arel were having a sparring match while Talas and I lay on the garden's grass to observe the stars.

"Ma andavë eruval, Talas?" _How long will you stay, Talas?_ I asked.

"Umin Hanya." _I do not understand. _ His eyes trailed over to me.

"Mar bedithach a Aman?" _When will you leave for Valinor?_

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. I could have waited another time, another month or year before asking him this question. But deep down I wanted to know right away so I would not have to miss out on another farewell.

I opened my eyes to find Talas hovering over me. His silver eyes bore right into mine and so many emotions swirled inside those pools of moonlight, so much that I felt lost.

"Talas?"

He said nothing and remained where he was, still like a statue, only strands of his platinum locks being lifted by the wind.

"I am no immortal, and you know that. Whether we want it or not, someday we will have to bid."

"Áva quetë!_"_ _Do not speak!_ He cried out.

There was sorrow in his eyes. I had brought sorrow to such a joyful being. While he kept me company, I only thought of leaving his side. What kind of friend was I?

"Naethen." _I'm sorry._ I apologized.

I reached for his shoulder with my left hand.

"Nilmë ná ve ló të ya losta tennoio." _Friendship is meant to last forever._ I said.

"Half-elf, _mellonin,_ I will carry it with me through eternity. That is my wish and you have no word in this."

He smiled at me. His smallest gesture meant a thousand unsaid words. He took the hand I put on his shoulder into his own and dropped into the grass next to me.

"Estelio nin." _Trust me. _He spoke softly.

"Estelion allen_._" _I trust you._

We lay there. I tried to empty my mind. He started singing.

_U i vethed na i onnad.  
Si boe u-dhanna._

He was singing my mother's song. The song told of hope, trust, and also loves. I sang with him.

_Ae u-esteli, esteliach nad._

When we reached the part of the chorus, a high and melodious voice joined us.

_U i vethed na i onnad.  
Na boe u i._

She placed a hand on my forehead as if feeling for a fever.

"I am fine, Riel."

"You are fine? Well, I am not. _Mae Govannen, Talas."_

"_Mae govannen, herylnin."Well met, my lady._

I brushed her hand off of my forehead and sat up cross legged.

"What brings you here, Riel?"

She points at me.

Talas turned over on his stomach with his head propped up upon his hands.

"_Haryal nie renya, Eldariel." You have my expression of deep regret, Eldariel._

"_Le hannon, mellonin."_

From afar, Keran stroke Arel's sword away. The blade broke when it collided with a rock. The two warriors were breathing heavily.

"I see Keran won again!" My twin sister exclaimed cheerfully.

"Indeed he did." I acquiesced.

They walked back towards us. The three of us stood up and dusted off our clothes.

Keran and Arel bowed to my sister.

"Princess Eldariel, it is good to see you." Spoke Keran.

"It is good to see you too, Sir Keran, Sir Arel."

"Good evening my lady. Have you come to watch the stars with us? " Arel asked.

Eldariel looked up at the sky for the first time since she arrived.

"Indeed we have a very beautiful sky tonight."

"But not nearly as breathtaking as you are this evening, my lady." Arel said in a flirty voice and a practiced smile; nothing like the smiles he gave Talas or his brother-in-arms.

Keran furrowed his brows and I sighed. Eldariel laughed and then spun on herself to show off her ivory dress. She looked every inch like me except for her womanly curves and a height a few inches shorter. While she did that, I realized that she was barefooted. Again.

"You are beautiful, my lady. I have no words to describe."

"Stop wooing my sister, Sir Arel. She isn't that beautiful, truly. She is just another me, but in drags."

Talas giggled.

"Rion! How could you?!"

In a moment of surprise, she shoved me down to the ground with all her weight. She stood there, and looked down at me smugly.

"The people would stop calling you the little Evenstar of Gondor if they knew how violently you treat me."

Talas let out another melodious giggle, Arel snorted while Keran just smiled. He offered me a hand and I took it. My sister pretended to look undignified, but I knew that she was only trying to cheer me up.

"I heard from _naneth_, and from Nadron."

"I have no doubt."

"_Naethen._"

I sighed and shook my head.

"_Baw, _do not be. It is as hard for you as it is for me._"_

I pulled out the silver evenstar and showed her the necklace.

"She gave me this, but I do not why."

"Father was the one who wore it throughout his life. Perhaps she wanted the King of Gondor to keep wearing it."

"This is a symbol of her gift to father."

"Her immortality."

"Yes."

"That is now yours to give, or not."

I frowned.

"Don't speak nonsense."

"I am not."

"Just stop. This is not the time and place to speak of the matter."

"It is. Your friends should know of this. You can't be alone forever!"

"_Daro!_ This is what I was meant to choose from the day I was born. There is no room for hesitation._"_

She remained silent and slightly shocked by my raw anger. Talas remained silent, as if he already knew the story. Arel and Keran seemed confused, but they remained silent for formality's sake. Silence was our humble shelter in moments of sorrow.

"Forgive me, my friends. I have been unwell, but there is no reason to take it out on you all. Thank you for calling me out here. It has done me well, but I think I will retire for the night."

"It is no trouble, my prince. I will also retire for the night." Keran said.

I headed for the external hallway leading to the outer court and back into the castle.

"_Du vaer."_ _Good night, _Eldariel called out to me.

I looked back at the three still standing there.

"Good night, to all of you."

Then I left with Keran.

All the way from the garden, back into the castle and now nearing my chambers, we walked in silence. We reached my room.

"Good night, sire."

"Did you not wish to speak?"

"I do, but it has been a long day for you."

"For both of us, Keran, but I do not mind because I know tomorrow will be no shorter a day."

I opened the door to my room and invited him inside. He did not argue. The fireplace was already lit by the maids and the room was warm and inviting. The thought of sleeping tonight was not such a bad idea after all.

I sat down at the tea table, and Keran sat down on the opposite side, just like this morning.

"Anything in particular you wish to talk about?"

He mused for a moment.

"The recent events have wounded all of us, but something else seems to be haunting you, my prince."

He wanted to know more about what Eldariel mentioned, but I didn't have enough dworwinion to be able to speak of it openly. I looked at the fireplace. The shadow of the flames danced on our figures.

"I think I might have been guilty of Ellen's death." I say calmly.

He looks at me with his eyes full of sympathy, waiting for me to go on.

"I do not only mean the fact that I was not paying attention to her. I think I did something else, and if it is truly what I did, then it is unforgivable."

"I do not see what you might have done to hurt the princess, my prince."

I pulled out the Evenstar from my tunic. I looked at the beautiful elvencraft, the details, the perfect diamonds and all the mystery it contained. I set it on the table, between I and Keran.

He looked at it.

"May I?"

I nodded.

He took it into his palm and examined it.

"It is truly a beautiful jewel, worthy of your mother the Queen."

I smiled.

"Would you tell me more about their story?"

"Do you not already know it?"

He nodded.

"I guess I only know what all of Gondor knows: the mortal numenorean, who loved only one elven lady, all of his life, who wedded her when the One ring was destroyed and lived happily with her until the day of his death."

I chuckled.

"Surely, you know more than that."

"Yes, yes, I'm just making a short version of it. You used to always tell me their tales when you were naught but a little boy."

"Keran."

His smile dropped and he looked at me.

"She will die of a broken heart. Queen Arwen will fade away from grief, unable to exist without King Elessar. I can see it in her eyes; the light has turned to grey."

He does not understand.

"The life of the Eldar is leaving her, but remaining with me even after Ellen's passing."

He looked puzzled for a moment. I look down.

"I am not highly gifted with solving riddles, my Prince, but I do hope you are not meaning what I think you are meaning. You do not mean you wish to die?"

He tensed. I shook my head.

"That's too farfetched, and unnatural, I guess, but what mother chose was not natural either."

He relaxed slightly at my negation.

"Even after nearly fifteen years, I still feel strange at times. I do feel at home, but it is as if something is missing and a part of me is lost, searching still for something."

"Is that why you are leaving for a fortnight?"

"Perhaps, I am unsure myself."

"I am your personal guard. My loyalties lay with you, Eldarion, without any title to ornate your name. I can guess a crisis is coming ahead and whatever path is forced upon you or chosen by you will not change anything for me."

"I wonder, Keran, what have I done to you or are you often like this?"

"Whatever do you mean, sire?"

"Perhaps you need some time away from your job. I've heard your vow once, there's no need to renew it unless you've broken it."

I raised an eyebrow and eyed him.

"I have not!"

I chuckled. He looked flustered.

"I am merely jesting, Keran, worry not."

He smiled.

"What about you Keran, what have you been thinking of?"

"Your troubles are mine, mostly, but if you must know, then the rookies are becoming more and more rebellious and it is a handful for me to train them."

"More like Arel, you mean? Challenging you to duels?"

"That is part of it, but the very young ones like to steal my things when I am not looking, and they are only thirteen, I can't bear to physically punish them just yet."

I laughed.

"Speaking of age, I am soon to be twenty-seven, but Miluyr has told me that I am growing slower, both in mind and body because of my elven heritage. It now bothers me, and it is not very practical for the days to come."

"Your knowledge and reason is desirable, even by older scholars, and you are not so unwise; definitely wiser than Lord Talas even though he is more than a hundred. You should not worry, it comes with age and experience."

I snickered at his comment about Talas.

"I believe there is a lot more than what meets the eyes. Talas is wise in his own way, perhaps only carefree and a little naïve," I told him.

"You're very wise about matters of the others, but less about your own."

"What surprises me is not what you are stating, but the fact that I know what you say is true, and yet I do not know what to do."

He shrugged.

"You will eventually know, I am sure."

I sighed.

"You need to eat more and grow bigger though, you are way too small!"

"I am not small, I am of average size."

"Not at all. You're still the same as when you were eighteen, and I'd think you'd still fit in Princess Eldariel's dresses."

Oh no, I did not need to be reminded of that eventful evening: Eldariel's canceled wedding. I pressed my right hand's palm to my face.

"Please, do not mention it," I said pleadingly.

"It was quite the spectacle I must say. The guests were quite amused, but King Elessar was extremely angry."

"Yes, yes, and I had the biggest scolding of my life. It was quite the traumatic experience."

"I think it was Prince Erchirion who had the shock of his life. He thought he'd be getting married to Princess Eldariell and he declared his ultimate love for her in front of six hundred people in the throne room."

"Enough, please, enough."

Unfortunately, Keran was far from done.

"But he ended up declaring it to his future King, and you just let him."

"I did not know what to do! Eldariel swore she would intervene at the right moment to set everything right, but she just disappeared! I was there and I had to go on ahead with the ceremony."

"And you broke his heart."

"I fled from the ceremony when he asked me if I wanted to spend the rest of my days alongside him. I felt that it wouldn't be proper or that it wouldn't be fair to keep lying."

"It has been years. He came to see you and your sister a year after the failed wedding to mend some wounds, but we never saw him again after that. He'll be there for your coronation though."

"And might play an important role for Gondor in the years to come."

"Yes. Actually, I have one more matter I'd like to speak of with you, if you do not mind."

"Speak."

"About the rumors that Lord Hator spoke of this morning, what part of it is true?"

I hummed.

"I will use the palantir to scout the orcs near Rohan. I hope that will be sufficient. The palantir can be used to see places in the present, but the mirror of the lady of Galadriel can see the past, the present and the future, and more, I suppose. Hator seems to be saying that evil magic is at work, and wants me to confirm it."

"Can you really do that?"

"I have yet to know if I can really do that. My little trip is not only to clear my mind, but also for this matter. I do not wish for middle-earth to live through the third age again."

"Is it dangerous?"

"That depends if black magic is at work or not. If it is not at work, then I will only be spying on orcs and hopefully see what they plan and why. We will have the upper hand and get rid of them swiftly."

"And if it is?"

"Then I might be directly challenging Sauron or whatever is out there to a one on one duel."

"But surely you should not risk that."

"I will be careful for it to not happen."

Keran sighed and shook his hand unhappily.

"I cannot let you do that. I will not."

"I am not even certain I will be able to do it. The reason for my travel is only to clear my mind and to try to see how the mirror works. I won't be doing anything harsh, so you do not need to worry for now. Take it as I am preparing for the worst."

"I trust you, sire."

"Thank you."

"So it is true then, that you have been trained by Lady Galadriel?"

"Lady Galadriel left at the beginning of the fourth age. I barely have any memories of her as a child, so no."

"Then how will you even know how it works?"

The second library.

I smiled innocently, only the small glint in my eyes could give me away.

He furrowed his brows. Then his eyes went wide. It was funny to watch him sorting out his own confusion.

"My prince," he began, "I am your personal guard and friend, and all the things you confide in me consciously or not, willingly or not will always be secrets that I will take with me to my grave unless you tell me to do otherwise, but your safety comes first."

"That is exactly what I thought, and I have thought of a plan."

"That is exactly what I was afraid of, but for Eru's sake, you are nearly twenty-seven years old, why do you still have to make me go through this?"

He looked desperate, but not angry. I smiled mischievously.

"I've already explained it earlier, but let me explain it to you again. You know that elves reach their maturity at the average age of a hundred? And since I am only half-elven, then I should be reaching maturity at around fifty?"

He shook his head with a big grin on his face.

"Fine, so what is your plan, princeling?"

I smiled at the teasing title.

"To be honest, it is nothing too elaborate; everyone thinks I have retired for the night. Galdin is sleeping; and there are two guards guarding the doors to the second library that I have to sneak by."

"What about the four other guards?"

"I've already taken care of that: the guards in the main library tonight will be Joyes, Alryn, Gelen and Etel."

"Nicely done," said Keran rolling his eyes.

"I just need you to distract Talas and Arel."

"What about them? They don't guard the library."

"Miluyr will be. He talks to Galdin a lot, so he must be suspecting something. And Talas doesn't sleep."

"He's with Arel, they're going to spend the night talking. So yes, he won't be sleeping, but that doesn't seem to matter."

"Talas's favorite tree is the one right outside the library's balcony."

"Alright, just tell me about the plan, my prince."

"You'll go and distract Talas and Arel away from the tree while I sneak into the second library."

"How long do you need?"

"A really long time: I need to find the right books, read them, scribe down or memorize the important parts, so I need as long as you can give me, just make sure I hear you talk before Talas can climb all the way back up on the tree."

"What if something bad happens?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Sauron appears out of a book or you get sucked inside of one."

"Nothing of the sort, worry not."

"I'm serious."

"I know the kind of magic, the worse that could happen, which I insist, will not, is that I will be knocked unconscious."

Knocked unconscious and maybe have one or two mind battles.

"And you will wake up whole?"

Hopefully.

"I should. I've never been permanently damaged before."

Hesitation filled his eyes. I stood from my chair and took a step in front of him then placed a hand upon his right shoulder.

"_Estelionin." Trust me._ The words I would always tell him when he started hesitating.

He closed his eyes and answered after a moment.

"Don't make me regret this."

"Have I ever?"

We gave each other a knowing smile.

Tonight was going to be an eventful night. I was not going to sleep even though I quite needed it. At least, I would not have to wake up to some nightmares.


	4. Chapter 4 Strange Memories

Thank you readers for reading, and thank you soooooo muuuccchhhhhh Estel for your review. It is your review that made me upload this next chapter.

**Please, I ask for reviews because I'd love to get feedback from you guys and I want to know what you like and don't like, or would like to read!**

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Chapter 4 Strange Memories

"Talas! Arel!"

"What brings you out here again, Captain Keran? I thought you retired for the night." Arel said cheerily.

"Hmm? Did you tuck Eldarion in?"

Tuck me in? Seriously, Talas.

"I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to discuss something with you two."

"Oh, what about, captain?"

"It's about the prince."

Yes, make something up Keran, and of course it has to be about me.

"What is it? Is _ernil prince_ unwell?"

Keran sighed heavily.

"Ah, yes."

I hear Talas jump down of his tree.

"Something that I do not know? What is it about?"

"Let's go somewhere else; It's something the royal family shouldn't hear about just yet ."

"Oh."

"No problem, let's go to the Fancy Dreams Pub." Arel proposed.

"No! I hate that place."

Just count on Talas to make things difficult.

"Ah, come on, they know you now Talas, no one's going to mess with you, and we'll be there anyway."

Silence.

"Ah. I'll take you out to new places another day? Outdoor places you haven't seen before with a lot of different plant types and very tall trees."

I sometimes still forget that Talas is just barely an adult.

"Really?"

"Of course! Did I ever disappoint you?"

It would only take a few second for Talas to agree. Arel was such an entertainer.

"Let me go get my cloak."

They started walking away. I waited until they were out of sight to start climbing into the library, up Talas' favorite tree. I reached the stone balcony and climbed off the tree. Now I just needed to become invisible and sneak through the guards. That or just have all your friends take on the night shift.

I waited a short moment for Joyes to appear in the darkness and make his way over to the veranda. He opened it for me and I entered.

"Alright prince, here you go." He whispered happily.

"Thank you, Joyes. You're always here for me."

"It is my pleasure to help you sneak around your own home," he replied and winked at me.

"How are the second gates looking?"

"Perfect. Gelen has them distracted. You must hurry though. They'll be back very soon. Here, I have brought this for you just in case."

Guard Joyes handed me my elven cloak that would help me create an illusion of invisibility.

"Thank you my friend. I will be off now."

"Good night to you, sire. May Eru be with you, or Elbereth, or whichever you prefer."

He shrugged. I smirked.

"You too, Joyes."

I hurried inside the library towards the second double doors. I opened one, entered and closed it carefully behind me.

The book shelves were grand and tall covering the whole wall of the place. There were two small circular stairways linking the ground floor to the roof. That way, every book could be reached without using a ladder.

Once before as a child I came here. Wanting to hide from my sisters in a game of hide and seek, I had wandered into the second library. The guards were punished for letting me in, but the truth that I had never told anyone was that they never let me in and they did keep watch.

Someone had led me in. No one had noticed us then.

"_Mellon nin._" I spoke into the darkness.

An expected quietness was all that awaited me. It was the first step.

"I am alone and I have come to see you."

A very soft and unnoticeable breeze filled the place.

"For the Reunited Kingdom, I have come to seek your help."

"And I will help you, my prince," a soft woman's voice replied.

"I want to know more about the mirror of Lady Galadriel."

"You wish to use it?" The voice echoed throughout the room.

"Yes. I fear a new darkness is threatening our kingdom, and I wish to ascertain it."

"A librarian knows where to find knowledge. I can show you which books you need, but I cannot read them for you."

"Yes, that is the help I seek from you."

"Certainly I have told you before and others might have told you again many times, but seeking knowledge comes with a price."

"I know these books are magically sealed or enchanted. I have come to fight for the knowledge. I have experienced it before."

"You are mourning still. You are wounded. Would your weakened mind be strong enough to face what awaits you ahead?"

I chuckled, and then sighed.

"I could always be mourning now for my lost family, and there would be wounds that would never heal. I am as ready as I will ever be. Time is running short, and this is what I must do."

A glimmer of light appeared and disappeared. A shimmering white shadow of an elven lady danced in front of me. I saw her smile. She was a faded elf, turned into an invisible spirit and could only be seen by those whom she wished to be able to see her.

"I see. A king will always be a king. If tonight is the last time we speak, then know that I have not regretted being in your services, King Eldarion Telcontar."

She raised a hand above her shoulder and sang a silent song. I became deaf for a moment and everything was muted. She disappeared then, and my hearing was restored to me.

A candle instantly lit up in the corner of the library. On the table it was placed was a small grey tome.

I made my way towards the furniture and sat down on the matching wooden chair. I took a deep breath and opened the old tome.

"Here I go."

My vision was blinded by a white light and I was thrown off the chair onto the floor. When I opened my eyes again, a beautiful blue sky framed by thick dark leaves greeted me.

I stood up from my position and dusted off the few leaves that had fallen on me. I looked around: the forest was most beautiful and very familiar. I had woken up somewhere in East Lorien.

"This makes sense. I have to seek the mirror of the Galadhrim in the forest of the Galadhrim. Let's explore, I suppose."

I made my way deeper into the forest. My memories of this place were far away, yet my instincts seemed to remember the forest well as they led me slowly into the mysterious domain.

I walked and walked. The scenery changed by little and all I heard was the music of chirping birds and the sound of leaves rustling in the wind.

"_Man le? Who are you?_"

I turned around quickly as I heard a child's voice. A very young black haired elf was talking to a cloaked person, sitting at the roots of a tree.

"Angel. Have I died?"

The boy handed the man a _Lembas_ bread.

"_Matë. Eat._"

The man hesitated, but took the given bread. The elfling sat down cross legged and few feet away from the man and watched him with curiosity. When the man finished eating, the elf child asked:

"_Man eneth lín? What is your name?"_

The man looked carefully at the child, seeming to have regained his senses earlier disturbed by hunger.

"What is my what? I do not understand your tongue well, little angel."

The boy mused a moment, looking up at the sky with his finger on his chin.

"Your name. Who are you?" The boy asked.

A smile could be seen on the man's half hidden face.

"Telluyn. An explorer, but I seem to have lost my way. And you? What is my savior's name?"

"_Dolen._"

"I may not be fluent in sindarin, but I know a little including that word. Your name is a secret?"

The boy nodded, and then smiled.

"Very well," he hummed, "I am thirsty," said the man.

The small child stood up and looked around.

"There seems to be no water around."

The elfling spun on himself and laughed.

"_Nen. Water._"

He turned the palms of his hands towards the sky.

"_Saes."_

Leaves, grass and the earth around the child dried up slightly, but his hands were now filled with water.

He then approached the man and let him drink.

"Thank you, _Dolen._"

I smiled at the scene. The boy was me, it was obvious, but I did not recall these memories, or who this man was.

It was then that it happened: a blade pierced through my left shoulder blade from behind.

The sharp pain spread throughout my body. I fell to my knees and my vision blurred. Breathing became hard and images started flowing through my mind: a cloaked figure, a pond, shimmering water, a blade, blood, fire, smoke, and dancing robed personages.

I struggled to remain conscious; I searched for the pair from a moment ago. They seemed to be struggling with a darkness of their own. The man was standing guard, seeming confused, searching for something that was not there, and calling out to _Dolen. _The child was injured. He was screaming.

I felt a shadow loom over me. I reached out for my boot knife with my right arm and stroke wherever I thought the enemy was, but the shadow would not go away.

Painfully, I stood up, using a nearby tree for support.

Shadows were everywhere. I swung my knife in a defending manner to keep them away from me. They seemed not to fight back.

The pain became excruciating and unbearable. As I screamed desperately, I felt my consciousness leaving me.

"Eldarion!" A familiar voice screamed my name. I wanted to open my eyes to search for the person who was screaming my name, but I felt so weak and tired. Darkness embraced me and the more I gave into it, the less pain I seemed to feel.

"Eldarion! _Echuio! Wake up!_"

I struggled to stay awake and my wound started burning me.

"_Saes,_ Eldarion, _Saes, ernil nin._ _Please Eldarion, please my prince."_

Miluyr's voice.

"It is not yet time to lay down. _Losto Lá. Sleep not._"

And someone else's. I felt a strange power surge through my entire being, then my eyes shot open.

"Prince Eldarion, calm down."

I searched around for an escape: doors.

"Do not let him run! Restrain him and hold him down."

"Yes sir!"

The shadows followed me, and some prevented me from reaching the doors. I lunged at them, only realizing then that my knife was gone. It grabbed my fist. More shadows joined it and they effortlessly grounded me.

"Captain Agariel!"

"What is going on? Why on earth is my brother struggling?"

"Agariel, I need to tend to him now. I will let him explain it to you when he finally regains his senses."

I felt a cold hand upon my forehead.

"_Telin le thaed. I've come to help you. _It is I, Miluyr, _avo osto_, _Do not fear._"

As my breathing became even again, the shadows in my vision disappeared and turned back into men: my guards, and Miluyr.

"_Avo osto,"_ repeated Miluyr until I finally locked eyes with him.

He sighed heavily.

I looked around me and I was back in the second library. My guards released me and I sat up, still asserting for myself that I was well and back to the real world.

"Eldarion. Do you know who I am?" Miluyr asked me.

I nodded.

"Your highness, what is our quatuor's name?" Joyes asked me.

I smiled wearily.

"The Worse Than Mordor quatuor."

The four royal guards seemed to relax, as the two library guards also did.

Sister Agariel, the second of six sisters, strode towards where I was, kneeled down in front of me and took me by my shoulders.

"_Penneth Rion, man agorech? Little Rion, what did you do?"_

Her long dark gold hair flowed around her and was held back by warrior tresses. She looked at me with the grey eyes all of us siblings shared.

I shook my head.

"I will tell you later, gwathel."

She, along with sister Neniel and Nariel were a part of the troops of rangers. She was the captain of her squad.

"You better. Seeing and hearing you kick and scream on the library's carpet was disturbing, even for you."

She is probably the child who has inherited the most of our father's fighting prowess. She was skilled with all weapons, and was both lithe and strong. I lacked in the latter.

"Eldarion," said Miluyr gravely.

"Lord Miluyr," I replied to him.

"Can you stand?"

I stood up, but winced as I felt a strange pain in my left shoulder and the feeling of being unwell.

"Everyone, can you leave us for a moment?"

"Yes, my lord," Replied the guards.

They left the second library and closed the doors behind them. Agariel remained. Miluyr dropped his composure momentarily.

"Le tûg nach! _You are a fool! _What do you think you are doing? Are you trying to kill yourself? I am at a loss for words. I do not know what to do with you. Did you know how close we were to losing you? In the gracious name of Elbereth, do you even care that your coronation is in a fortnight?"

"Miluyr, _Naethen._ _I am sorry_, I know I have angered you and I know I have been selfish this time, but this was my decision."

"I can understand men sometimes now why they hit their children even when they love them."

"Again, I have no excuses. I will not ask for your forgiveness, and if punishing me will appease your anger then please do not refrain from doing so."

"You are half-elven, and I should have known better. You are too young to understand. Your father has left too early. "

I was always taught to control my anger because it was a state that often caused you to make the wrong decisions. What I uttered in the end was only a small glimpse of how furious I was from hearing the words spoken by Miluyr.

"Yes, perhaps someone as old as you would know better."

Miluyr looked at me in the eyes, as if warning me to watch my tongue.

"You think I am not fit for this position, but you are also forever too old to understand what it means to live what I am living. You know nothing, and your wisdom is outdated."

He slapped me.

I did not move from where I stood.

The only sound that echoed throughout the library was our breathing.

My sister was confused**, - **use a semicolon she did not know what to think. Miluyr had never hit me before.

"The last ship has sailed, and I chose to remain here for you."

"So it was for the sake of a young child who knew nothing of your decision. You mean now that I have failed you? "

His eyes widened.

"No, that is not what I meant."

I looked straight into his silver eyes.

"But you are right. I am failing now, even before it even began. Perhaps they were all wrong to have put their faith in me. I don't even have so much faith in myself."

"Eldarion."

"You have condemned me."

"I have not done anything of the sort. You know what you mean to me. I was angered; I was disappointed that you have ignored my warnings."

"I only did what I thought was the right thing to do, but it seems like you disagree."

I turned around and strode towards the door. I put my hand on the handle.

"You seem to know what should be done here, so feel free to do as you please during my absence. There will be no child to report to."

"Where are you going?"

"Somewhere I can think."

"Your coronation is soon, you cannot leave."

"Leaving right now is me giving a thought to the coronation."

"You cannot choose in this matter, you must be there."

"We'll see."

As I pulled the door open to leave, two guards appear in the doorway and I find the two others struggling to stand from their crouching position.

I glare at them sullenly. The uncomfortable situation was interrupted by loud voices from outside the veranda.

"How can he even be drunk? He drank dworwinion like it was regular water just a couple hours ago," I heard Keran speak outside.

They were back. Keran did quite a good job distracting them. Miluyr still found out about this, but at least I had gotten what I wanted.

"Did I?" I seemed to have forgotten something.

"Did you what your highness?" Gelen questioned me.

I remembered being inside a forest, Lothlorien, and then there was a pond, shimmering water, a blade, blood, fire, smoke, a cult, someone, and then there was only pain.

I winced and grabbed my left shoulder.

"Sire, are you alright?"

I looked at the guards and nodded.

The _elleth_ librarian was right: there was a price to pay for this knowledge, and I fear it was something more than this terrible headache, the desire to puke and this atrocious pain in my shoulder.

The conversation between Keran and Arel went on.

"I think that is exactly why he is drunk. He drank two bottles of dworwinion earlier, then he practically tried every drink there was at the Fancy Dreams," Arel explained.

"He only took small shooters."

"Yes? Fourty-seven of them, and I swear I saw him try Martha's concoction of madness. She was so eager to have him try it, said it was stronger than elven wine."

"You should take him to his room. I could help you carry him up if you want," offered the captain.

"Ah, nah, Captain Keran. He's as light as a feather, I could do that, but I'm sure he'd want to wake up amongst trees tomorrow morning."

"Oh, alright then."

"Goodnight, sir."

"Good night to you too, Sir Arel."

Miluyr exited the second library and walked past me and the guards onto the veranda. Agariel followed behind. She stopped to look at me. She did not say a word, took my face in her palms and kissed me on my forehead. It was her way to tell me that everything would be fine in time.

"Captain of the royal guards of Gondor," called out Miluyr to Keran. Whenever the _ellon_ used someone's official title, it often meant that the said person was in trouble.

"Sir!" Keran answered nervously.

"Miluyr, he was only following my orders, and did not know what I was going to do."

"I only wish to speak to him," Miluyr told me, "guards, take Prince Eldarion to his quarters, call for a healer, and go back to your watching posts."

"Yes, my lord," replied the four men.

Miluyr called out again to Keran. "I need to speak with you now. I will be waiting for you in my office. Do not tarry."

"Yes, Lord Miluyr."

I followed the guards outside, leaving Miluyr alone with Agariel.

As I walked silently back to my chambers, my anger slowly subsided, and I realized then that I had been unfair towards Miluyr. Whether he was wrong or too harsh, I was not a better person insulting someone who cared for me for over twenty years.

Miluyr could seem very severe and be very strict, but deep down he was a very caring person. As any ancient elf, he was afraid to bond too strongly with mortals, so he always kept an invisible wall between him and the others. He spoke little when around friends, but he listened, and he knew that deep down he had long since climbed through his own invisible wall.

He did not judge me, he feared for me.


End file.
